Through work, I was recently exposed to the book The Rules of Life by Richard Templar. I love rules, just ask my husband, so I knew immediately that this book was going on my reading list. I’m not finished yet. In fact, I’ve hardly started. Okay, truth be told, I haven’t even bought it yet. (Hint, Hint for Christmas) Just the titles of the chapters have me enthralled though since I keep seeing their applications to horseback riding.
Take, for example, Rule (chapter) 19. “Don’t Dwell on the Past.” Sure, we’ve heard that before, but have you ever applied it to your riding? Admiral is a spooky boy. If he’s nervous he spooks. Board, he spooks. If he is fit he spooks; feeling lazy he spooks. You get the idea. And, his spooks aren’t just a splay legged stop either. Generally, he drops and does a one-eighty that puts many reining horses to shame. It’s definitely “un-seat-eling” even if you’re ready for it. With this in mind, I find myself dwelling on the last trip around the arena, preparing for the spook at the white roll top or the bushy tree. The problem is, I’m not actually riding the horse under me. I’m riding the horse that was under me two minutes or thirty seconds ago. The only way to be an effective rider is to ride in the here and now. Feel what’s under you. Influence what you are riding now.
There’s more to Rule 19. Templar writes, “ Whatever the past was, it’s gone. There is nothing you can do to change anything that has gone before, and so you must turn your attention to the here and now…Live here. Live now. Live in this moment.” I struggle with this. I’d never really thought of it as a detriment to my riding that I compare horses to each other. I was lucky enough to have two really awesome mares when I was younger. They are the measuring stick I hold every other horse against and that’s not fair. It’s also not fun. What made those horses so great was the journey I made with them. It wasn’t the end accomplishments, it was the time spent in and out of the saddle. By comparing my current horses and by always striving to get back to where I left off, I’m robbing myself of the journey.
Rule 20 fits right in as well. “Don’t Live in the Future.” Basically the message is, if you’re constantly driving for the future, you’re never satisfied, EVER. The future never gets here. It’s a message that is twofold. If you’re a dreamer like I am, your thoughts are always on the next big thing. You want to make things better, be a little richer, jump a little bigger, show a little more often, have a nicer home/barn. Whatever the dream is, it consumes us. Our current situation, horse, job, house, whatever, is compared to the dream. Templar writes, “The key is to appreciate what we’ve got right now and yet still dream and plan. That way we’ll be a little happier now than if we were constantly looking to the future, where happiness apparently lies.” Remember, the future never gets here. You better learn to be happy in the present if you ever hope to be happy.
The other part of “Don’t Live in the Future” deals with worry. If you’re dwelling on the future, good or bad, you’re robbing yourself of the moment you are living. Horses are great at creating worry. We worry about possible lameness, about the right kind of feed, about finding a good vet and farrier, about them being too cold or too hot. We also worry about the spook waiting for us on our next ride or stride for that matter. We count the days, weeks, months, or if you’re lucky years, since our last fall and worry about how much the next one will hurt. We’re only getting older after all. I hate to admit it, but we worry about what others will think as well. Templar writes, “Every time we worry about something in the future, we rob ourselves of living in the moment. We lose a day that could have been spent enjoying life. The bad things we worry about may never happen, but the days we spend worrying about them can never be returned to us.” Sounds like pretty good advice to me.
Whether you’re striving to improve your riding or just trying to find a bit of contentment in life, try this perspective. Live in the moment. Learn from your past, plan for the future, but live right now. Appreciate where you are. Soak in the sights, smells, and sounds. Enjoy the journey. Clear your mind of clutter. Focus on now, it’s pretty amazing.
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