A Horse and Her Girl

“Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this.  For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.” – Henry Ford

Everyone has heard the “eyes are the windows to the soul” quote.  I wanted something more.  But, I have to give eyes credit.  They are what started this whole train wreck of thought.

Normal people talk of starring into the eyes of their lover, of getting lost in their gaze.  Being a far from normal person, I’ve been studying horse eyes.  To even the most casual observer, the eye can speak volumes.  Take for instance the whites of the eye showing fear or anxiety.  For the less casual horse watcher, the eyes tell a story.

 It’s not something I can always find words for.  I floundered around for a full minute when a co-worker asked me how I knew my horse wasn’t feeling well.  I couldn’t put her expression into words, but I knew exactly what it meant.  As hard as it was to explain, “I don’t feel good” is a pretty easy feeling to see.  A horseperson can generally see it in any horse, not just the horse’s with which they are well acquainted.  That being said, I’ve been eye gazing looking for something deeper.

Twice now I’ve been privileged to watch the evolution of a horse’s eyes.  Ironically, both horses have been mares.  It may be that Admiral came to me with his darling personality already in place or maybe mares bond with me on a different level.  I don’t know, but I’m beginning to believe it’s more than a fluke.

Icy Dawn and Nutmeg were both mares without much personality when I started working with them.  They’d show up for work and do the job.  Some days we’d fight.  Some days things went well, but that’s about as far as things went.  We weren’t companions and their eyes rarely spoke more than, “oh it’s you, food?”

I don’t remember when I first started noticing the change in Icy, but before the end we definitely developed a partnership that went beyond walk, trot, canter, and jump.  In the end, it was the look in her eyes that finally told me it was time to put her down.  Horses might not speak human, but their eyes hold a depth of communication.

Nutmeg has been a slow transformation.  I’d say it started when she had a small round of colic (stomach ache, but a little more serious).  I think being there to help ease her pain helped break down the initial wall.  From then on she understood that I could help and she was a little less off-put by my presence. 

We’ve done a lot together since then and each little excursion cements things a bit better.  Each time I take only Nutmeg to a show, she gets my undivided attention for the weekend and becomes a bit more comfortable in her personality.  This summer, while Admiral has been laid-up, she received the majority of the pampering.  She’s now wearing an almost constant expression of pride.  As much as it has pained me to watch Admiral withdraw his personality a bit, it’s been wonderful to watch her’s bloom.   There is a new depth to her eye.  It says, “I know who I am.  I’m your partner.”

The great eventers talk about the traits they look for in a horse.  Sound legs, big heart girths, athleticism.  I believe it was Jimmy Wofford who encourages riders to find a horse with “the look of an eagle.”  I’m not sure horses are born with “the look of an eagle.”  I think it is developed.  The long hours nurturing through an illness or injury, the time spent hacking down the road, sharing triumphs and defeats, hand grazing on a sunny afternoon.  Time matters, you can’t develop a relationship without it.  We develop as we experience.  Our relationships evolve as when share time.  So, take time.  Develop character.  Build relationships.  The best part, this Fresh Perspective doesn’t just apply to a horse and her girl.